A magic fairy ‘night’ mother
MAGIC FAIRY NIGHT MOTHER| DECEMBER 2025
Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better
So, after much nudging from my dear mother, I finally visited a dermatologist to help with my face acne. I loved the experience of seeing a black dermatologist who understood me, my skin and what would work best.
She told me straight away that this would not be an overnight experience. No magic. No waking up to instantly clear skin from some magic fairy ‘night’ mother. Don’t we all wish? She said that I needed to follow the regime consistently for at least two months.
It made me think about how often I have wished for a magic solution without wanting to invest in the process. How often I have wandered around directionless, trying too many “solutions.” As we know, intimately, tailored strategy nearly always beats improvised effort. Just like my skin, in life I have often puddled through with my own regimes when I could have:
gotten expert advice (mentors, coaches, specialists)
had a tailored plan that made my life easier
developed the consistency and patience to wait for the results
probably prayed about it
This pattern has shown up in other areas of my life too-especially in moments of high pressure or transition.
I remember feeling this very strongly during my registrar doctor training. I was frustrated to the point of nearly quitting, convinced the programme wasn’t leading me where I wanted to go. My “Africa” plan was fuzzy at best. I started shooting stray bullets - applying for fellowships, PhDs, thinking about quitting and going home, even (half-jokingly) considering getting pregnant just to get some breathing space (this was before less-than-full-time training became the norm).
Everything changed when I worked with a coach who helped me figure out what I really wanted and why. With clarity came direction; and with that direction came calm. And with calm came the confidence to negotiate a job plan that allowed me four months on the continent and eight months of compressed clinical time in the UK. Clarity is powerful. It reduces burnout and accelerates movement.
The same happened when I wanted to level up my exercise. Getting an excellent personal trainer (shout out to Junior) made all the difference. He helped tailor my form to prevent injury, motivated me, reminded me that I could do hard things. The pain was real (there were days I could barely walk)… until it got better and now I train 5 times a week, solid…and actually enjoy it.
When I trained for my first marathon, my overly enthusiastic runner friend took me out…come rain, shine, and even snow. It was awful - especially if you know how much I hate the cold. But I crossed that finish line (VERY many hours later) to friends cheering. I genuinely thought I might die of rhabdomyolysis, but a few days later I was grinning sheepishly at my medal thinking, ‘Yeah… I did that.” Accountability really transforms the impossible into the completed.
Life is short. We all deserve to thrive - not just let things happen to us, but to have the ability to take ownership of our outcomes and move intentionally toward what we want. Control, ownership, and your USP.
What did all this teach me:
Get an expert to help you
Get a tailored plan that works for you
Be consistent
It might get worse before it gets better
Don’t quit just before the better comes…it might literally be just around the corner.
Wherever possible, try to enjoy the journey by grounding yourself in your why.
As we prepare for the end of the year and start visualising our 2026 goals, I encourage you to surround yourself with people who will help you. Experts. Coaches. Friends. We often forget how transformative it is to have someone hold space for us. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Make a plan that works for you. Every person’s journey is different. Be consistent and patient with the wait.
Before the new year begins, this is the perfect moment to reflect, reset and find the support that will help you start 2026 with purpose, direction and clarity.
A thought for the week
Where in your life or practice have you been waiting for magic, instead of committing to a method…and what could support unlock for you right now?
Wishing you a happy festive season, and see you next year. Let 2026 be your best yet.
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This week I have been…
Re-reading: The Spider King’s daughter by Chibundu Onuzo - a fave author from Nigeria.
Watching: Love and wine (Netflix) - sometimes you just need a good South African romcom.
Listening: ‘Mama’ by Da Muziqal Chef. Because we dance Dezembaaaa, and I miss you, Mama.
If you enjoyed this reflection, feel free to share it and stay tuned for next month’s newsletter.